Free Association Rant
What will your legacy be? That’s my question as I finally come up for air and I realize how much time we spend agonizing over things we cannot control. We are a nation of people and we are broken. We are broken by the corruption in our government. We are broken by the heartbreak of losing our homes and our dignity. We are broken by the truth: We are being lied to and in turn we are lying to ourselves. The limit of your tolerance for abuse from someone else is the same limit you have for your abuse of yourself so if you’re throwing yourself into a job, relationship, or some other life situation you cannot swallow and you’re staring at the ceiling fan blades spinning in the darkness at night then you’re probably listening to the bull shit being shoved down our throats in the media and the stores and at judgment parties disguised as social gatherings. “Come on, abuse me more I like it…” (Silverchair).
Your convictions will go muffled and distorted if you don’t carry them high on your shoulders. The guy screaming the loudest is the only one being heard. He thinks that because people are listening he is right. I think he’s just got a really big mouth and people in groups will follow anything that looks shiny.
We are nation of selfish, self-centered pigs. Who cares what the next person has to say because I’ve got my tidy little house and my nuclear family and my custom bred sorry excuse for a dog that looks like a chia pet and my computer! Damnnnnnnn straight! I got my myspace page that explains exactly who I want the world to see me as and I’ve got my xbox and my playstation and if you don’t like what I’ve got to say then you can piss off cause I have everything I need and I don’t need anyone telling MEEEEEEEEE how to be.
I’ve got my doubts…about that. In 11 days I turn a quarter century so what the hell do I know? Right? In this society you’re supposed to be afraid of your convictions until you’re at least fifty. Well fuck that. And here’s the real important part: you don’t need to scream to be heard. In fact, if you’re screaming you’re probably trying to muffle the lack of meaning behind your words. First LISTEN and then try again.
The greatest lie ever told (in my book) is that you can please everyone. I’ve been beating my head against that brick wall for decades. If someone is going to be a judgmental asshole they probably don’t have much room in their narrow mind for understanding. I’m not saying it’s not worth trying to get their understanding, but you have to know when to drop the plate of 10 thousand pound coddle china and let the pieces fall where they may. Life is not about carrying other people’s emotional weight around.
So just as I must we must all ask ourselves what we wish to bring to this world and what will truly matter in the end. To be given this opportunity to exist here in a time of such groundbreaking change is a gift, a treasure, and too many of us waste so much of our time ignoring that truth.
Even if you’re tired and even if you’re bitter because of things that have happened in your life you’ve got to climb up out of the wasted moments and give honesty to this world. Don’t apologize for who you are and don’t hide it to try to accomodate for others’ fear of the truth.
Take this life and LIVE it. LIVE it out loud. Eventually the commentary will cease and you will be surrounded with sincerity and even if that’s not the case you will no longer be sick inside because you’re denying parts of who you are. This is when things stop lingering and sinking in. This is when verbal firing starts to bounce off of you. This is when the strength inside of you grows outward. This is when you realize there was nothing to fear all along. This is when your world becomes limitless.
We are a society of hypocrites and liars. We are a world living in constant fear. If we cannot be forthright in our own lives then the sickness will continue to spread. Where there is a small glimmer of truth there is a small beam of light and a light in the dark (even if very dim) cannot be ignored.
Be who you are. Be who you are and be aware of what’s going on outside of that, but do not live in fear of it. Cut through the bull shit mercilessly.
